Blue
by Dissolution
Summary: Raven's view on his own life. I like to think this is before the Final Four, but it can be after, depending on your point of view. I don't own Zoids or Behind Blue Eyes, by Limp Bizkit.


Disclaimer: I don't own Zoids. Don't sue me.

**Blue**

I suppose I could say that I'm misunderstood.

That really, I'm not like that, I'm just begging for them to understand that it was Prozen, it was Hiltz that did this to me, that I'm really not the heartless killer that they think I am.

But, really, they're right on target most of the time.

I am a heartless killer. I do kill for a living.

Most of the time, I like it that way.

_  
No one knows what it's like_  
_To be the bad man  
To be the sad man  
Behind blue eyes  
And no knows  
What it's like to be hated  
To be fated to telling only lies_

Most of the time, I like it that way.

But there are always moments, I think, where I wonder what would have happened.

What if Dan Flyheight had taken me in?

What if Prozen had shot me instead of taking me in, and left me to die?

Well, it would have been a better world, I can assure you of that.

Like I care.

But really, people don't think beyond the fact that I kill for a living. They don't think that maybe, just maybe, I'm human?

Yeah, I'm human. About as human as a psychopath killer can be, I suppose. But yes, I have thoughts, I'm not just a thoughtless killing machine.

Yes, I'm human.

_  
But my dreams they aren't as empty  
As my conscience seems to be  
I have hours, only lonely  
My love is vengeance  
That's never free_

Yes, I'm human.

You know that saying, "I think, therefore I am"? Yeah, I think.

I think a lot, believe it or not.

Mostly about my life as it is now, and what it centers around.

Hate, mostly.

For that son of a bitch, Van Flyheight.

He tore up my life.

I was content to live as a hit man for Prozen, but then he stepped in.

That son of a bitch.

_  
No one knows what its like  
To feel these feelings  
Like I do, and I blame you  
No one bites back as hard  
On their anger  
None of my pain and woe  
Can show through_

That son of a bitch.

You may say, if you're human, you must have other feelings.

I have other feelings.

Indifference.

Amusement, at the pitiful attempts to eradicate me.

Pain, for Shadow.

And perhaps, just perhaps, happiness.

Because I am happy, when I manage to make Van's life a living hell.

But mostly, it's just about hate. He destroyed my life, my zoid, even the bond I had with Shadow.

And for that, Van Flyheight, you'll pay.

I'll kill you.

And when I'm done with that, I'll dance around your grave for a week.

And I'll be happy.

_  
But my dreams they aren't as empty  
As my conscience seems to be  
I have hours, only lonely  
My love is vengeance  
That's never free_

And I'll be happy.

Because I know what it's like to be happy.

So do you, I suppose, Van.

But I will know euphoria.

You won't.

You always worry that I'm out there.

That someone's out there.

I don't have chains like that.

It's only you, you and your friends.

They will all die by my hand someday, Van.

And it'll be a pleasure to watch you writhe in agony by their graves, knowing that someday soon, it'll be your turn.

How sweet that moment will be.

_  
No one knows what its like  
To be mistreated, to be defeated  
Behind blue eyes  
No one knows how to say  
That they're sorry and don't worry  
I'm not telling lies_

How sweet that moment will be.

I envision it, Van, almost everyday of my life, the moment when I'll kill you.

I don't know how I will or–

No.

I know how.

In a zoid battle, of course. How could it not be?

That's how you crushed my life, almost snuffing out my life in process.

And you skipped off to save your other friends.

Would the rest of the world like you so much, I wonder, if they knew the pleasure you got in the thought that I was dead?

Because I doubt that there was any sorrow when you believed I was dead.

Believe me, there will be no sorrow when I _know_ you're dead.

Yes, that'll be euphoria.

_  
But my dreams they aren't as empty  
As my conscience seems to be  
I have hours, only lonely  
My love is vengeance  
That's never free_

Yes, that'll be euphoria.

When you're dead and I'm free.

Free from the humiliation, the torture, that you've put me through.

I was defeated, Van Flyheight, by your hand.

To me, that's almost worse than death.

I would have preferred death, I think.

I know you would have preferred my death to my defeat.

Because that's when I decided that you would die for my freedom, my happiness.

Van, if you could hear what I'm thinking…

You'd be running in fear.

Because I plan to make your life the hell you deserve.

_  
No on knows what its like  
To be the bad man  
To be the sad man  
Behind blue eyes_


End file.
